Free Garden Catalogs

Do you like my book so far? It is my third chapter.?

If you want to read the first two chapters, you can go to the same question I asked about those. Chapter 3 The Castle After living in the Castle, I know a lot about this place. One of the places is the Garden. It is an amazing place filled with colors. There are trees which serve fruit, and plants which serve vegetables. Before you walk in, there is a beautiful arbor with vines and flowers on it. The grass is the greenest grass you will ever see in a lifetime. There are flowers next to the arbor and two cherry trees diagonal from the arbor. When you walk in, the grass is even greener. Adaleide’s family takes good care of it. Another is the inside of the Castle. Inside there is amazing pictures. Adaleide tells me that they are her ancestors. They must have been painted by a rich man, or woman. There are also scented flowers around the castle. Some are purple, pink, yellow and my favorite, red! Those are tulips, but there are different kinds of flowers too; there are Daisies, Columbines and Roses! Adaleide’s parent’s room is also very beautiful. There are pictures of the garden, and the forest (in its nice places.) Then there is my room, I share a room with Adaleide. It’s lots of fun though. We like to pretend we are nights fighting the evil dragon on our wall. There is a picture of a night, a princess hiding in a dark, spooky cave which we think is the dragons den. Then there is a large dragon that is on the wall, and the ceiling! He is a ferocious dragon steeling the princess, which Adaleide and me named princess Aurora, we think that is the most beautiful name in the world, especially for a princess. Adaleide says that we are not really princesses, she just says that we live in a castle, but I believe that if you live in a castle, you are one. If that is true though, then I guess I just pretend that I am a princess even though Gracia never calls me a princess even when I ask her to. I don’t like Gracia, but she does clean this place. Over all, this is a nice place, but the bad parts about the castle, is these comments. First of all, there is a big well, and it is too deep, and the bucket is too big that I am afraid I will fall in, and the bucket is so heavy to lift. Sometimes though, I wonder what’s in there. Another thing is that Gracia always gives us too much chores and never agrees with us. Lastly, there is a big hole in the garden, and Gracia is too lazy to fill it in. She always says “I have much more important stuff to do than to fill in that large hole, so if you want it filled in so badly, how about you just do it yourselves!” What really bugs me is that she says this while reading a book next to the fire place. So those were some bad things about this place, and now you know about the Castle I live in. I figured that it would be too much to read if I put the other chapters, and this chapter was fine without the others and by the way, the 10 pts. will go to the most honest answer.

Public Comments

1. Not bad, but you might want to change the tense. You know? Most stories are written in past-tense because they make more sense that way. Writing in present tense, as if the things are happening now, makes it much more difficult. Just a suggestion. And I would take out the last line. I would edit it a bit if I were you, as well. And don't make it seem like an essay. Use different, more creative transitions, not words like 'lastly'. And this is definitely not chapter length...I'm guessing you're not finished? But keep working at it if it's really a story you want to tell! Good luck!
2. i think its good, but it uses the same words to often, its pretty easy to change thought, just go to thesaurus.com and type in the word