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Is it ok to be upset that my parents didn't tell me that mum was a mail order bride?

My father is Australian and mother is Filipino, with a 15 year age gap. I am now 25 & an extended family member mentioned, in passing, that dad picked mum out of a catalogue. Of course I don't judge my parents for this but it did make a lot of things about my childhood make sense. When I was a kid and asked how they met, etc, they lied to me. I never thought to question their answers. I haven't confronted my parents because I understand that they haven't told me for a reason and that's ok, but my relatives also don't realise the sensitivity of the situation and think I am stupid for not figuring it out sooner. They think I'm being a drama queen. So I'm battered all round. Is anyone else a child of a similar parental situation, and how do you feel about it? I would like to talk with other children of these kinds of arrangements so please email me. Does anyone think my extended family is right? What should I do with this information? Please help.

Public Comments

1. It's totally fine to be upset, and your parents shouldn't have lied to you. Maybe they could "postpone" the truth for a while until you are old enough to understand-but it sort of depends on your age at the moment. Who cares about your extended family. It is sad that they can't be more sensitive about the situation. You should sit down and talk to your parents, and hopefully once you deal with it, you will be able to sit back and relax about it more. Don't be afraid to tell ppl, that you aren't interested in their opinion if they are only going to be hurtful. good luck, and props to your parents for making it work all these years, with this sort of system.
2. its normal to be upset... and your parents shouldnt have lied to you.. cause the later they will tell you the more upset you will be..
3. I may go against the grain a bit here. But yepp it's always a bit upsetting to realise that your parents have some of their lives they wish not to divulge with their kids. As much as you don't want them to know about parts of your life. It's called having your own life. Yes it's ok to be a bit upset that you where not in on that bit of information but. At the end of the day. If they love each other, regardless of what the extended family or anybody thinks that's all that counts. Catalogue bride/arranged marriage so what You'll get over it and start to see them again as whole humans. Think of it this way "They where doing what they thought was right, regardless they have their reasons" As for your relatives thinking your stupid, That's wrong you not stupid. As for melodramatic it depends how long you going to let this cloud your own reality and not accept it. Just accpet it as a new reality and move on.