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Do you like this sonnet?

Just wondering if you like this sonnet? Feel free to be extremely critical! The Garden Anna Kelm The years we spent together Like the roses ever growing In the fairest, brightest weather When the gardener sat sowing Tiny seeds, with rays of hope And he'd treat them tenderly Then you said we would elope Now I want you here with me On a dark and gloomy day I sat waiting in the garden But the winds of fate said nay Now I plead and beg you pardon. For I held you much too tightly And I spoke to you too tritely.

Public Comments

  1. yes
  2. yup, very nice
  3. i love it
  4. pretty good, you do break out of the metaphores and speak directly to the subject. I would try to replace the direct speak with another metaphore
  5. It's pretty good
  6. I hate it
  7. That is wonderful except the end...because as a woman, you need to have him beg and plead YOUR pardon, and treat you right...and then the part about hold you tightly, naw, don't blame yourself for a relationship ending, relationships are here to teach us about ourselves, and help us learn what we want...so here is a suggestion, but l am not as good as you- "Now you've lost a great gal, Whose heart is really swell, So what the hell, l wish you well!!! ...ooopsie, I guess that is one line extra!
  8. Its beautiful. I like it. =)
  9. It is good poetry. It's more free-verse than iambic. A sonnet is a very structured piece (English and Italian types have similar rules). An 'iamb' is a two beat word (or words) with a short syllable followed by a long one, 'de DUM' like 'The years'. Iambic pentameter is five of these iambs in one line (ten syllables). "The years we spent, like roses, ever grow" An English (Shakespearean) Sonnet has 4 stanzas. The first 3 having 4 lines, the 4th stanza has 2 lines. They have a specific rhyme scheme: A A B B C C D D E E F F G G "The years we spent, like roses, ever grow In weather fair the garden seeds are sewn The sun and rain will feed our seeds of hope And in the Spring I think we will elope" I hope this helps TD
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