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Please read my story and see if it needs to be editedd!?

The Good Boggart “Could you go any slower John?” Margaret complained as her and her brother John were going to the Well to get water for their family’s lunch. “Margi, wait up! You know ma and pa said you have to stay by me!” John was always overprotective over Margaret, she was only 8, and he was 13. I have to make my wish with the coin mama gave me! So don’t listen while I throw the coin in!” Margaret was always the impatient and outgoing girl who liked to do things herself. Margaret whispered her wish and threw in her silver “coin”. (Her “coins” were just gray rocks her father would cut into round; flat circles and told her they were coins.) “Ahh!” Margaret screamed! “Margaret! Where are you! Oh dear!” John ran to the well thinking Margaret had fallen in or something. “Margaret! Oh my lord!” “John! Look at the bucket!” The bucket and pulley was somehow moving by itself, up out of the well and back down into the well, as if it was fetching water for itself. “Margi! You nearly scared me half to death! Are you all right! John said completely shaking while he talked. “Am I alright? You’re asking me if I am all right? Well I was just walking when-oof!” Something had popped out of the well and hit Margaret right in the nose! “Ow!” Margaret complained as she was nearly crying. “Oh come on Margaret! I’ll carry you home!” John always offered help home for even the slightest injury! “I’m perfectly capable of walking! Thank you very much!” She always hated it when she was offered help for anything. John and Margaret walked home to their small, wood, and stone cabin. “Mama! Guess what happened just now!” “Margaret Angela Willams! What happened to your nose!? It’s all red!” “Oh! I got hit by my coin, anyways, me and John were-“ “Wait, hit? How Margi?” Margaret’s father usually never spoke full sentences. “I was going to get there if you stop interrupting me! Now, I was making my wish and I threw my coin in, then suddenly the bucket in the well started moving by itself, then the coin you and papa gave me popped right out of the well and hit me in the nose!” “Honey, it couldn’t have came out of the well, things just don’t do that.” Her mother said in a sweet voice. “But ma! It’s true! I was there!” “John, knew it too?” Said his father again not speaking correctly. “Well, I uh,” He swallowed. “Yes, but I heard her scream so I ran there, then I saw it! It was moving! Up and down, into the well.” “Wind, probably wind.” “You know what John; I don’t like how you agree with 8 year old talk! Go into your room and think about how childish you sound!” “Yes mother.” “Expected more in you, a 13 year old boy.” Now it was nighttime and John creaked open Margaret’s bedroom door and whispered her name. “Margi, you awake?” “I am now John!” “Quiet! I’m here to talk about what we saw earlier today, the well and the coin.” “Do you think it was a Boggart? Like the ones papa tells us about in his stories?” For once Margaret sounded normal when she talked, unlike her mean voice. They both heard something hit the ground, almost like a plate or dish fell on the floor. “What was that John?” Margaret had yelped in a very scared voice. “Come on, let’s go check it out.” They both walked downstairs and saw that everything in their kitchen was a total mess! Plates were everywhere, cabinets were open, and so was the cellar. “What’s this?” John said while picking up a piece of paper that said “To: The two kids” “Let me read it!” Margaret said while ripping the paper right out of John’s hand. She read “I am thay boooogart, I case no hram!” “Margaret! You’re still learning how to read! Let me read it! I am the Boggart, I cause no harm. Yea! Talk about no harm done! Look what he did to our kitchen!” “Who’s down there?” A voice boomed from upstairs. “John, Margaret? Is that you?” Their mother had said in a really scared voice. “Mama! A Boggart has been here look!” Margaret said so proudly while handing the letter to her mother. “John! This messing up game again?” “Again? Mother! I’ve done nothing wrong! It was a-“ “ME!” A noise from nowhere said. “You go right back to bed you two! You will clean this mess in the morning!” “But I didn’t-, yes mother.” The next morning John and Margaret were cleaning up the entire kitchen, well mostly John for two reasons: 1) Because his mother assumed he did it and 2) Because Margi was in charge of going back and forth to the well to get water for him to use to clean the floor, table, and counters. “Margaret, tell mother I went to the Bakery Shop to get a sandwich for lunch, please clean while I’m gone. Oh, and tell father I used my 2 pennies he gave me for planting the seeds in the garden. Bye!” And John was gone to go get lunch for himself. Margaret didn’t feel like cleaning the kitchen so she decided to get more water, and when she got to the well she saw the bucket was moving through the air by itself Thank you for helping, NOT! Geez, I only asked for help, not a explanation that "there is no excuse". btw, i dont care that ur a "editor"

Public Comments

1. Editing is not the problem here. The issue is your lack of knowledge regarding basic grammar, punctuation, dialogue, style, spelling, syntax and a host of other things. I stopped reading at "Margaret complained as her and her brother John were going . . . . " There's about six major errors in the first sentence. Ask your teacher to recommend a good, basic grammar book. "Elements of Style" is terrific, but assumes a basic knowledge that I'm not sure you yet have. Please don't add a note explaining that you're only twelve or fourteen or that you were up all night or that you KNOW it has errors but you were too busy to correct any of them. There is no excuse. If you want to write, you have to do the work.
2. Your first sentence should say SHE and her brother. Where Margaret's father cut stones into coins into round flat (eliminate the semicolon) circles next you should say and tell (rather than told). The bucket and pulley WERE (plural subject requires plural verb) somehow moving by THEMSELVES (another plural needed) as if they were... Where Margaret says "me and John...", that is grammatically incorrect and should be John and I, but since the sentence is a quote, it may be that Margaret would talk that way. Where you've written John, knew: never put a comma between the subject and the verb. The preceding are the outstanding changes which I think you might make since you're asking about editing. Good luck with the story.
3. Hi Mermaid Paige, You have some good ideas for your story. I'd suggest that you cut down on the dialogue (direct speech). Too much dialogue in general bogs down the story and loses the reader's interest and attention. Instead, focus on description (of things, places, people, events) and emphasize plot movement (action) more. Having a succinct plot outline in front of you should help you keep on track. Keep only the most essential dialogue. This would be a good starting point for strengthening your story. Best of luck! -P. -p.s.- I whole-heartedly agree with the other contributors to your question; good writing involves learning and using language conventions correctly.