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I got in a fight and I am not eating because I feel upset?

I am in my room, which me and my husband rent for 400 a month. My baby is breast fed. It's almost noon. My mom was angry at me for not buying a big bag of sesame seeds. She said only I eat them. But I use them to cook for the whole family, (of 9) told her I would buy the sesame seed. But I said if she wants me to buy food than I don't want to cook and clean everyday, exept my own mess. I said I would eat less too. I told her that I baught a huge bag of rice and lots of spices and have a huge vegetable garden worth lots. Now I am upstairs in my room and am hungry. But I feel so upset that I don't want to go out and I don't want to eat. My baby is not happy. I don't have any money with me right now because it's with my husband who is working. I don't know what is right or wrong. I do work for the family on the computer too. I am advertising a huge painting and trying sell it and give all the profits to my brother. I really want to help. I am trying to sell her stuff also on ebay. I feel overly stressed out. I don't want to be a burden and I want to help out. But I am unsuccessful. my mother says she spends overe 800 a month for food for everyone.

Public Comments

1. I suggest that you attempt to find gainful employment outside the home. It sounds like you have a built-in baby sitter and can still provide milk for the baby by building up a reserve for use while you are at work. Your efforts to make quick and easy cash on eBay and other websites is obviously not effective. A regular job which results in a regular paycheck is the route I suggest. You may not find your dream job, but you don't need that right now. You just need to be productive and provide your fair share to the family unit.
2. Interesting... First off...you are not unsuccessful. Don’t ever say that again...okay. Because every time you say that...you reinforce that belief and because we humans do not like to be wrong...we will do everything in our power to make sure we prove our thoughts correct. Yes, even that we are unsuccessful. So, no more of that nonsense, okay. Secondly, it is never about the spilled milk. I can’t begin to tell you what it is about...but perhaps I can offer you some insight. When I first read your question, you reminded me of myself. I have this tendency to punish myself to get back at the world. I want to see if anyone will come to protect me. But this is not good...and it is very victimizing. I can’t stand victims; I can’t stand that part of me. And of course if anyone should ever come to ‘my rescue’...I’d tell them to F-off because it makes me feel weak to need people...vicious cycle. I know. So I hear you saying that the world is against you. Even your baby is upset and you can’t eat because your husband has the money at work. Your mother’s demands are unreasonable. But at the same time you don’t want to be a burden, you want to help make money on the computer; you want to offer your garden vegetables to the family. And I believe you really do. I think you are stuck in this vicious cycle where you take pride in your independence and strength as a woman...but feel mom owes you. ("I said if she wants me to buy food than I don't want to cook and clean everyday.") Why or what does mom owe you...I don’t know, it could be so many things and she could be needing from you as well. Try to talk a bit deeper...beyond the food...take the risk...it is worth it. Maybe you will discover that you just need a good, long hug...