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Teenage Poet. Critique? only constructive please?

These are Poems I wrote, I know that not all of them are as good as others, but i really want to know how I am doing for a young teenage Poet. tell me your favorite or some criticism or something that is hepful /Paranoia/ Shadows Little ghosts crawling on the walls Humanoid reflections waiting to feed A muffled whisper, a faint trickle of chills on your spine Yet you are all alone The reaper is ready to pull you into hell The darkness dragging you in with a afresh wave of repulsion And the cool fingers of death leaving a metalic taste in your mouth Moonlight, your only savior The one to bring you back But not without the shuddering fear Soon a flood of insecurity sends you crawling back to the poison The shadows make any haven a sodom /The Essence of Acacia/ A single sweep across the skin, alluring. She loves you A tear slips free; a warning of despair She hates you The tender caress you know all to well She owns you Looking down to see hell freeze for her She follows you The single sigh filling all that is there She creates you Every ploy steals away your very breath She destroys you The end is scarlett dreams, without her She is everything /Moonlight Escape/ Sit Stare Swing Back and forth Swaying trees and twisted ground The warped veiw much more enchanting than reality The moon is out and no one is around No one knows you are here A simple mystery, one only discovered if they wake A nimble leap and your down Back to the picture perfect night Leaving the swing spinning behind you Your headed back home, to light of emptiness /A Realm of it's Own/ A garden grows Life evolves The flowers bloom And butterflys float from their cacoon The fountains of water The rain streaking color Live and beautiful, the garden is still A realm of it's own The pretty little place /The End/ So far away Leaning into the depths, she knew not what was going on But the intention was clear It felt like release but would only end in captivity The disorientation soon led to oblivion Pure ecstasy Relief The footsteps came The door opened A world was destroyed Tears mixed with blood /Worth of Life/ Entwining vines made of silver Leaves and stems purely of gold The platinum grass And jade dragon flies Crystal water flows through fountains Marble bees collect amethysts for food With a world so full of life Why are the gems more precious? /Dreamland/ Intoxicating feeling Fluttering lids Colors start shaking Forming a better land Wings sprouted Paths of shine Its all here It's all here in dreamland /Purge/ Blood boiling Stomach churning Cities crawling along the road Pushing outward until it bursts Soon the center dies and only expansions survive But nothing is left inside is undecided It's going to be over and empty /Devestation/ Spiraling steam Watching eyes Lovely decay Sleeping beauties Deathly hollows Withered roses And willows Knoted, twisted, Hunched over, Weeping. /Drown/ Bruises and blushes Flushed and unconcious The water seeps through more than just clothes As waves press down She sheds tears that whisper to the heart The ocean sweeps them up; we are def to death /Is This Insanity?/ Bodies lower themselves into graves As the sun feeds on the earth The fossils break open revealing walking skeletons Swimming through the clock Leaves bloom releasing fresh vines The stairs climb eachother And trees leap off cliffs Is this insanity? The blue jay glides in the breeze A fish flicks it fins through waves The clouds slowly roll on The sun sets in the west A mirror reflects all that it sees The grass grows higher everyday And the man eats his dinner in the evening Isn't this the perfect façade? Lifeless bodies are found everywhere Self mutilation has it's own rehabilitations centers We drop bombs because of divergent veiws Throwing up is the new diet Simple pleasures don't exist Parents kill there children before birth And homophobia is modern time racism Is this what we want? /The Worst Day/ The cold hearts are everywhere We see what we want A personal cliché leaves us closed We are one We are here We are dead We are not what we are expected to be Cold hearts Everyone sees it No one comprehends It's all there Put the past into the future Let it all go back to the end /We are Here/ The cool drops of endless rain spattering against the glass A rythmic fright that all know A simple starter of a horror story But do they realize, while fantasizing in the night They are waitin for you to sleep The drops are their pounding hearts Dead to us They feed They feel They wait They see You have a limit As they tear the flesh and break bones Your cry means nothing They can't hear you Simple joy Easy fun Merciless to all of their prey They will get you Seize the breaths your lungs hold Puddles of blood Warm and comforting Sinking into the famili Not all poems rhyme.... I'm suprised people don't know that....... actually most poems don't rhyme. Especially if they are Free Verse like mine

Public Comments

1. Wow, really dark, powerful stuff. I actually really like. Especially "is this insanity" The first part is like a surreal tim burton nightmare, the second part is really really good, and the third part is the freaking truth. I love it. "homophobia is modern time racism" : brilliant.
2. They're good but some of them don't rhyme at all so it just sounds like a story and I couldn't understand them. A good poem has a meaning to it, something deeper. So keep that in mind. Other than that good job!
3. The best thing you can do for yourself as a young teenage poet is to read a lot of good poetry. Read the great poets of the past, and read a wide variety of the good poetry being published today. Read for the sheer pleasure of it, and read to learn everything you can about the many ways in which experienced poets use language effectively. You should make it a goal to read at least 100 poems for every one that you write.